Weekend Update Part 2

This will have to be short since I'm running out of time today! Laundry and packing and writing instructions and consent forms for my sister. Ack! So much to do!

I ended up not sending McKenna to class today. I just was so sad at the idea of sending her away for 4 hours today, bringing her home for an hour and a half and then dropping her off at my sisters for 5 days. I'm already a mess thinking about leaving the girls and I really just wanted to be with them. Plus I was worried that it would all be too much for one day - new class AND being dropped off to stay at someone else's house for so long.

It's weird though because I keep feeling like this is the first time I've been away from them but I forget that McKenna used to spend the night at Auntie's all the time before Kyla was born. I don't know why I forgot that. But in any case, this will be the longest I've been away from them and definitely the farthest. I'll admit it, I keep thinking "What if something happens to us?" I keep feeling like I should write a letter to leave for the girls in case something does happen. Is that ridiculous?

Kyla's birthday went wonderfully! She got SO MANY cute outfits! She's lucky that her birthday comes right at the beginning of fall because she gets so many of the cute new fall outfits that are out. She also got a lot of excellent toys that are just perfect for her. And she would probably enjoy them if her big sister would give her a chance to play with them!

And of COURSE Blogger won't let me upload pictures. Figures. Well, this post is a bust. LOL! Here, I uploaded 2 of my favorites to our own server and when I get back from Hawaii I'll do a better birthday tribute. And for those wondering if Erick is going to make a video for Kyla like he did for McKenna - YES! We wanted to wait until we got some birthday footage to go in the video. So that will be coming in a few weeks I'm sure!

Kyla slept in until 9am on her birthday! And when she woke up, she was pretty excited to see all these presents waiting for her:

Happy birthday Kyla!

And no birthday update is complete with out the obligatory cake picture:

"I think I made a little mess."

I read her birth story the night before since that was when I went into the hospital. I thought I'd share for anyone who would like to read it:

Welcome to the World, Kyla Elizabeth!

On Friday night, I really wasn't feeling too hot by the time Erick got home (around 5:30). McKenna kept asking for Souplantation for dinner so we decided to go. I paid $8 at the all-you-can-eat salad bar and did not eat anything. I had a complete salad in front of me that I could not stomach. Erick got me a slice of bread. I took about 2 bites and couldn't eat any more. I was positively nauseous. I was feeling some strong contractions but couldn't really get to a clock to time them. They were about 5 minutes apart. We left the restaurant and I immediately threw up in the parking lot. That was my first clue that this could be the real thing!

We got home and Erick got McKenna ready for bed. I asked her if we could read her bedtime story in Mommy's bed (because I couldn't imagine sitting on the floor next to her bed while in that pain) and she was very happy to oblige. We read Snow White and I timed contractions....3-5 minutes apart. I timed them from 8:20-10pm and they stayed pretty consistent and got increasingly painful. I called my Mom to come stay at our place while McKenna slept. I called my sister and told her to meet us at the hospital. Off we went, hoping we wouldn't be sent home for false labor!

We checked in and were sent to a delivery room where we underwent a thousand and one questions about my health history. She checked me and I was dilated 4 cms and 60% effaced (its like no two medical professionals can measure the same. Somehow I lost 10% of my effacement progress?) She suggested I walk for a half-hour to see how I progressed. I walked around my room and was so exhausted when the 30 minutes were up! She checked me again at 1am and said I was 5cms. She asked the on-call OB what he wanted to do and he officially admitted us for delivery. Woohoo!

They decided to let me labor on my own until morning. It was not a restful night. I was still extremely nauseous. I hadn't had a solid meal since lunch on Friday and after throwing up, I was pretty low on energy. And with all the nurses coming and going, I got very little sleep. Unfortunately, my contractions fizzled out so they began pitocin at 5:20am. Because my water was still intact, it was slow-going. After a few hours they asked me if I wanted an epidural. I really wasn't in enough pain and didn't want to stall my labor any more. But if I didn't get it then, I'd have to wait for the anesthesiologist to get through 2 c-sections. I learned my lesson from my last labor - I wasn't waiting. I told them to go ahead and order one. He came fairly quickly and after I was all set up, the nurse checked me and I was 6 cms. Around 10am I felt a pop and my water began leaking. The nurse checked me again and I was 6-7 cms and the water had not fully broken. We waited a little while longer. She checked me again, this time breaking the rest of my water and I was a steady 7 cms.

Now generally, 7-10cms is the fastest yet physically the hardest part of labor. And generally, the epidural takes care of the pain part so its "generally" just the fastest. Not this time. My epidural decided to wear off. So there I was with a high level of pitocin causing stronger contractions, during the transition phase, WITH back labor and no pain relief. One contraction right on top of the other. They called the anesthesiologist to ask him to up my dosage in my epidural but he was in another c-section. I laid on my side in the worst pain I could possibly imagine. I did not want anyone touching me. But at one point, I was able to see the blurry image of my husband and my sister standing near my bed and it comforted me. I was in too much pain to say so or to tell them that when they weren't in my line of sight, my contractions somehow seemed worse. But I do have that recollection that their near presence helped ease the contractions a little bit.

By the time I was a 10, it was a race. We were waiting for either the anesthesiologist to get there or the OB to get there so I could start pushing. The anesthesiologist came just in time to give me a half dosage (which took care of most of the pain) and then the OB arrived. After 17 hours of labor and 3 sets of pushes, Kyla Elizabeth entered the world at 1:16pm weighing 8 lbs., 8 oz. and 20.5 inches long.

I don't remember crying much when McKenna was born. I think I was so excited and so surprised that there was an actual baby in there. But with Kyla I cried quite a bit. I'm sure that a lot of it was just pure exhaustion and relief. And a lot of it was that it brought back the sweet memories of McKenna's birth. But especially, with Kyla's birth, I now KNEW what my love for this little one would grow to be. With McKenna, I had no idea what I was in for....no idea how much I would grow to love her. But after being a mother for these past two years, all it took was hearing that teensy little cry for me to just know how much love I had in my heart for her. And it came pouring out the moment I heard her, the moment I saw her.

At the same time, being a mother these past two years showed me how much I could worry. Already I find myself staring into Kyla's sweet, trusting eyes and worrying. Will that bruise near her eye go away or will she have to see an eye specialist? Does she have a touch of jaundice like that one nurse thought? Will I be able to keep her safe from all of the things I've (so far) successfully avoided with McKenna? Will I be able to show each of my girls how much they each mean to me, as individuals and as the collective role of being "my children"?

I have so much joy and elation that God chose me to be the mother to these two particular girls. As much as I will always worry, I know that He did not assign me this job only to abandon me to it. I know He will teach me, show me, stretch me. I really had no idea as a first-time mother how much motherhood would change me. Now I have some idea. And though I know each child is different, I know that God will be as faithful to us with this one as He was with the first. I look forward to how He will mold me as a mother of two. And I look forward to getting to know this beautiful little girl who is my newborn daughter....

Newborn Kyla Photo