Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Tis the season to be sniffly....

Well last Tuesday night, McKenna was a super cranky butt. She was absolutely inconsolable. She always has her moments but usually nothing that a cookie can't fix. But not on this night. So I decided at 5:45pm (much earlier than usual) that she was ready for bed. So into the bath she went and the child almost fell asleep in the tub! So I pulled her out and wrapped her in a towel and she fell asleep in my arms! Very out of character for our bundle of energy. I put her to bed and she consistently woke up every half hour. I called Erick at work and told him I was worried. I ended up giving her some Tylenol after the sixth or seventh wake up. That helped for a while. She woke up at 5:45am (way earlier than normal for her) and Erick said she was really warm. She wouldn't sit still for a temperature and she threw up all over me. So we called the doctor and he said to bring her in at 9:45am. Diagnosis: Virus. Treatment: Tylenol to help with the fever and sore throat. Gatorade to keep her hydrated. By the end of the night, I was feeling as bad as she was and by the next morning, so was Erick. Now, one agonizing week later....we're all feeling much better though we're still plagued with runny noses and coughs. The domino effect is that we're still all looking too crummy for our family picture so our Christmas cards will either be pictureless or delayed. And we are major behind on housework (ESPECIALLY laundry! Yikes!) So needless to say, that with all this and Christmas around the corner, life is a bit overwhelming right now. And heavy on my heart is the story of little Hayley. She is another beautiful child who suffers with AML and has only days left on this earth.

A lot of people wonder why I put myself through the heartbreak of reading about these children who are suffering from cancer. Let me tell you, I wish I could forget that I had ever heard about them. Before Allie Scott, childhood cancer was something I thought only happened to one in a billion. I had no idea how many children suffer. I began to read their stories. And some of them would capture my heart enough that I would post messages or send emails to their parents to offer prayers and encouragement. It became abundantly clear that posting messages and sending emails, cards, etc. to these families was a true gift to them. They mentioned it frequently. Some even wrote back and I now have friendships with them. And suddenly, I couldn't walk away. God knows I wish I could keep my eyes closed but I can't. If my child had cancer, I would want the entire world to rally around her with love and support. How can I not do the same for another person's child? I joined a messageboard that is headed by Jenny Scott (Allie's Mom) and through this Non-Profit Organization that she is creating, I have learned of dozens of children who are suffering from various childhood diseases and we find ways to encourage or help them with immediate needs.

So as Christmas approaches, I'm finding it difficult to find the same peace and comfort that the season usually brings. I cannot help but remember that there is a couple in Georgia who are about to lose their little girl. I mentioned this to Erick last night and he said "This must be what God felt like at Christmas." It was such a profound insight to me. It really must have. How hard for God to feel comfort and peace while he looked upon the scene of His son's birth. He knew that His beautiful baby boy was destined for a tragic death. How bittersweet Christmas must have been for Him.

It is not lost on me that as I mourn the imminent loss of someone else's baby, I have a perfectly healthy daughter of my own here to enjoy. There is rarely a moment that passes when I'm not aware of how blessed I am that she is healthy and here. The number of days I will have her to hold - only God knows. I'm not a sadomasochist. I don't torture myself with horrible thoughts that I could lose her. I'm just careful to truly treasure my moments with her. If, God forbid, anything were to happen to her, I'd like to be able to say "Yes, I treasured my time with her. I made the most of it. I have no regrets." Fortunately, McKenna is much too independent to allow me to smother her with the zillions of kisses and hugs that I have to offer. She does allow several hundred a day. But if she doesn't want them, she'll tell me so.

"McKenna, can Mommy have a kiss?"
"No."
"Can Mommy give you a kiss?"
"No."

Little stinker. But on the other hand, she did provide for me one of the sweetest of all my Mommy moments. I had just finished reading an update on Hayley. I was feeling sad (though I'm careful not to let it get me down while McKenna is around). I got up to put away a dish and I hear from the other room "Mama?" I said "Yes Kenna?" She said "I yah you" (I love you). Cue the water works and heart-melting. If she had asked for the moon at that moment, it would've been hers. In a similar moment, she was holding our phone and was pretending to talk to Dada. She said "Hewo. I yah you Dada." (Hello. I love you Dada). I wish he had actually been ON the phone so he could hear it! Luckily, she now frequently tells us that she loves us so he has since heard it numerous times.

What other Kenna stories do I have to share?

Let's see....

Ever since she was born, when I change her diaper I always lift her butt in the air and say "Butts Up Seven Up". And now when I say it she repeats "Buttsup Buttsup".

She has several new words. My two favorites are peeshes (peaches) and didoso (dinosaur). She will point to our coffee mugs (even empty ones) and waves her hand at it and whispers "HOT!" She also repeats the spanish words Para and Salta on her Dora dvd. She yells "DASS!" (dance) if she wants me to dance with her. She can tell me which of the Laurie Berkner songs she wants to hear. She will tell me either "nummy" (for Song In My Tummy) "head" (for Pig On Her Head), "bee" (for Bumblebee), "didoso" (for We Are The Dinosaurs) or "hat" (for This Hat). And if you're a Wiggles fan, see if you can guess which song it is she likes to sing:

"Nummy Nummy Nummy Nummy Foo SaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaEEEEED"

Now there was a time when Erick and I would've done just about anything to prevent Barney and the Wiggles from being played in our home. And we are still pretty Anti-Barney. But the Wiggles have won our hearts. McKenna is absolutely obsessed with them. We Tivo every episode so that she always has some "on demand" because she asks for them all day. She doesn't sit and watch them constantly but she has to have them on in the background. Now because they are ALWAYS on, I have had a LOT of chances to watch and ponder the phenomenon that is THE WIGGLES. I was suspicious of 4 men who danced around and acted like goofy children all day. I kept waiting to hear that they really don't love children that much, they were only in it for the money, they couldn't make it as actors in the movies, and there was probably a host of scandal surrounding their personal lives. So far, I have found nothing of the sort. 3 of them met while studying Childhood Development in college. For a project they were required to create some children's music. They enlisted the help of the 4th to help record. Their stuff was so good that they sent it to ABC to be considered and the Wiggles were born. Then, through the messageboard I previously mentioned, I began to hear stories of various things the Wiggles have done to help children. Giving them backstage passes and free tickets, wearing bracelets to support kids who are fighting cancer, spending extra time during and after the concert with kids who needed some extra love. And this was the story that really got me. There is a little boy who recently passed away. One of the girls from our group sent them an email to let them know that this little boy was a huge fan and could they please send something that could be buried with him. The Wiggles actually CALLED the family of the little boy on the day of the funeral. They said they had just found out about his passing and would have come to the funeral if they had known sooner. Now that is awesome. I do believe they would have because its not like anyone would've expected them to so why would they just make up a lie like that? They also autographed a shirt and had it Fedexed to the family so that it arrived in time to be buried with the little boy. I thought the story was so amazing that I now watch The Wiggles aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall day long and am grateful that there are people like them in the world who truly love children so very much. Although I wouldn't mind getting to watch an episode of Dr. Phil or something now and then. = D

Ok, here are some pictures for ya. I gotta get to bed. I am a talkative one tonight.

She LOVES the play gym at Burger King. Here she is climbing up to the slide all by herself. How can she be so tiny and still act so grown up?:


And sliding down, all by herself:


Wearing her Diva Glasses. When she wears them, I can get her to say "Supatah!" (Superstar!)


On Thanksgiving, my Mom did a little photo shoot for me and Kenna. Here are a few of my favorites:


Giving a very big, sloppy kiss to Mama. Actually, I'm pretty sure she was trying to bite my chin off. Maybe I had some leftover sweet potato on there:


I love this one. It looks like she's saying "Hey Mom, I'm just gonna get up for a second and grab a piece of this candy, ok?"


All decorated for Christmas! When I brought her out to see it all, I was so excited to show it to her. But she was blinded by love. All she saw was that her Daddy was sitting inside the apartment. So she barely noticed the lights and smiled and said "Dada!" Oh well, maybe you guys can enjoy my efforts:


These are the candy lights that I made all by my self. I just included them because it took me two hours and I wanted to show them off:


Ok, I've rambled enough. Good night everyone!

1 comment:

Gina Rae said...

Your candy lights look awesome! I just love the idea.

Your mom is so cute with her photo shoot idea. The pics turned out great!